FUCK FLOWERS: Send Yr Loved One A Rude Finger Doughnut Dipped In Nutella

It’s hard to know what to send someone when they go through a major life event.

Do you send them flowers? People do this a lot. But the person’s house starts to look like a funeral parlour. And flowers die, which is a great way to remind an emotional person of the inevitable death of all that is beautiful and pure in this cruel world.

What about a cake? The thought’s sweet, but nothing promotes deep self-loathing quite like consuming a whole $2 Safeway mud cake in one sitting.

Some people send cards, but then you’ve gotta figure out what the heck to write on the damn thing.

If being stock-standard and/or sentimental isn’t your bag, you might be interested in The Finger.

Aussie gift box company Dessert Boxes have just released this rude finger-shaped doughnut to send to your loved ones. It comes with a big ol’ tub of Nutella for the recipient’s dipping pleasure and it’s the perfect way to show someone dear to you that you care, while reminding them that they’re still a crumb.

For $35 plus delivery, Dessert Boxes will send the cinnamon-sprinkled doughnut / ‘tella pair (in a beautifully-packaged box complete with a Malteser base) to whomever you deem deserving of the bird. You can throw in a personalised message too, like ‘EADC’ or something charming like that.

At the moment, they’re only delivering to Sydney and Wollongong (presumably because of the sheer concentration of gronks in those areas lol). They’re working on expanding to the other states at the mo though, so keep your eyes peeled.

Heck, the deal’s so sweet you’d be forgiven for wanting to finger yourself.