YouTuber, comedian and cooking extraordinaire Nat’s What I Reckon is back with another cooking video, and this time he’s teaching us how the fuck to poach an egg.
It sounds simple, I know. But poaching an egg is really bloody hard, and when you’re a fully-fledged adult who can’t poach a googy boy to save your life, it can feel pretty embarrassing.
In the video entitled Eggs-istential Crisis, Nat debuts his new kitchen and gives us another recipe to add to our repertoire. Honestly, at this point you’ve got no excuse not to have at least a basic rotation of homemade meals. He really couldn’t make it any simpler.
In just over half an hour, the video has already been shared over 2,000 times, proving that the people truly love his stupidly-simple cooking tutorials. If you thought everybody knew how to poach an egg, think again.
“Eggs have this special way of making you feel like a real piece of shit when you fuck them up,” he said. “They’re a bit of a metaphor for our mental health at times. They’re delicate, a pain in the ass, but if you work on it, you get a little bit better at managing it.”
Thankfully, Nat has given us a truly idiot-proof guide to poaching eggs, revealing that the reason your eggs never look like your local cafe is probably because they’re not fresh.
“You don’t have to be fucking David Copperfield to poach an egg. There’s a reason your eggs keep fucking up when you try to poach them and that’s because they’re not fucking fresh eggs. Seriously, it’s that easy to poach eggs. If they’re fresh as fuck, they’ll poach like a champion.”
He also added that you should also opt for free-range eggs. You know, because chickens have feelings too.
“And don’t buy fucking caged eggs, you prick. Chickens are people too. If a chicken is nice enough to give you their fucking eggs, at least let them go for a walk. Social isolation is for people and NOT chickens.”
Throughout the video he also offers tips on water temperature, how to know if your egg is “old as shit”, and just how to make them worthy of joining your smashed avo on your morning toast.
“Give it a crack, I reckon you’ll nail it,” he said. “And just remember: FUCK CAGED EGGS.”