I’ve heard a lot of cursed food takes in my short time at P.TV, but the worst one I’ve come across so far is the discovery that some heathens make Milo with water. With fucking WATER. Like it’s tea or some bullshit. I cannot.

I was first exposed to this when I saw this absolutely correct TikTok shaming the sociopaths that use boiling water to make Milo like it’s an English Breakfast tea.

@monwarr_Don’t do milo dirty #fypシ #fyp #australia #iykyk #relate♬ good 4 u – Tik Toker

When I saw it a part of me was like, who TF even has Milo with water, surely this is fake??? But upon traversing the comment section, I realise that apparently this is a thing. Disgusting.

Milo TikTok comments
WHY.

Everyone knows the correct fucking way to have Milo is with milk, and only milk. I don’t care what kind of milk – dairy, soy, whatever. I don’t care that much about whether or not people have it hot or cold either, since to me it just depends on the context. But it has to be milk.

I *thought* this was common knowledge, but upon popping into our little work Slack chat to share this TikTok and shit on Milo-water drinkers, I learned that not one, but TWO of my team mates also make their Milo with water??

I’m sympathetic to one of our staff because she just adds in a dash of hot water to dissolve the Milo powder before popping the milk in and microwaving it, like a little alchemy queen, which I can respect.

But making Milo like a tea, with mostly boiling kettle water and then a dash of milk, is treasonous and unforgivable. Do you make hot chocolate with water?? (I know some of you cretins are going to say yes and let me tell you right now, don’t fucking bother).

Apparently water with Milo is a common occurrence at camping trips, which I’ll relent as potentially making sense because it’s not like you have access to a whole pantry when you’re in the woods. Sometimes you gotta deal with scarcity, and I’m not a class hater.

But why in the ever-loving fuck are we tolerating this as the norm in Aussie kitchens??? When we have plenty of access to a better quality of life, and a better quality of Milo??? Please, Milo-water drinkers, love yourselves. I’m begging you.