A wise, hungry man once pondered “doughnuts, is there anything they can’t do?” And if you’re querying whether they can bring an entire town in Ireland to a goddamned standstill, the answer is still a resounding yes.
Krispy Kreme, the doughnuts almost exclusively bought by Tasmanians returning home from a trip to Melbourne, has just opened its first store in Ireland in the town of Blanchardstown, just north of Dublin. In keeping with their standard American business model, the dedicated store featured a drive-thru lane that was set to be open 24 hours a day.
The result: Chaos. Absolute chaos.
Traffic banked up at the drive-thru has gotten so bad that less than a week after it opened the store has been forced to close down its round-the-clock operations because antsy Dubliners all filthy for the ‘nut have been leaning on the horn so much that it’s driven the neighbours bananas.
We’re not kidding either. It is absolute scenes over there.
— ColmandLucy (@ColmandLucyK) October 3, 2018
That, get this, was reportedly filmed at around 2:30 in the morning.
Ireland. They are criminally horny for the ‘nut. They are absolutely tonguing for the doughy hole.
Those lucky enough to actually get in there have had to wait literal hours for a taste of the glaze, but it’s the horn honking that’s gotten the whole thing off-side.
— Jim Nugent (@JimJimNugent) September 26, 2018
In an attempt to assuage neighbours robbed of sleep by wide-eyed ravenous night-owls foaming at the mouth for a lick of the humble dough boy’s circular schlong, Krispy Kreme management has reduced the hours of its drive-thru operations from 6am to 11:30pm. Which should definitely fix the problem and won’t send sugar-starved motorists even further out of their god-given minds at all.
Doughnuts. You simply cannot get enough of them. There is no limit to the amount you can eat.Image: Getty Images / Jim McKinley