The world of fashion has had more than its fair share of globe-stopping, history-defining, society-shattering moments. But the currently on-going Milan Fashion Week might have provided the most momentous of all thanks to the industry’s newest forced evolution of humanity: Three-boobed models. As in, models with three boobs. Yep.
GCDS – an Italian label whose name stands for “God Can’t Destroy Streetwear” which, I put it to you, is a lie – sent models down the runway sporting an intensely bizarre triple-titted harness, complete with absurdly pointy nipples so large they should’ve been tagged with an eye-hazard warning.
No doubt about it, folks. Those models have three boobs each.
The Total Recall-inspired show was made under the premise that the world as we know it was over and that GCDS had morphed into an all-encompassing brand that ruled the world with a militaristic iron fist. The entire catwalk was lit up with glaring neon lights reading “GCDS Corp is your only God” which, I’m sorry to say folks, is metal as fuck. Fashion is metal now. The metalheads have finally taken over.
Conjuring images of brutal totalitarian regime? That’s fashion.
Wailing guitar solos on top of crumbling megalithical buildings to herald the fall of a dystopian empire? That’s also fashion.
Growing out a ratty goatee and living in your Mum’s house until you’re 45? You bet your ass that’s fashion now too.
Still, there’s absolutely no doubt about it: Those models have three boobs.
They most assuredly do.
