It’s the Formula 1 off-season so that means drivers, much like the animals in Over The Hedge, are hibernating for winter until the next season kicks off in March 2023. The fellas can use the break to loose and chill out for a hot minute and, I don’t know, take up cross stitch or get really into bread. Alternatively, they can go down the route Alfa Romeo driver Valtteri Bottas has trodden and use their downtime to cop a delightfully filthy mullet.
It’s deeply iconic.
The Finnish bloke is currently in Melbourne with his partner Tiffany Cromwell, who’s an Aussie Olympic cyclist. There’s something about seeing two hot professional athletes in a relationship which really makes you feel like shit about the total losers you date but, alas, I digress.
Bottas shared a vid to Instagram showing him and Cromwell sharing a cup of Joe and tucking into a spot of brekkie. He’s perusing an Australian Millennial starter pack meme on his phone, as one does at breakfast.
“It is really nice to be back but somehow I feel like I don’t quite fit in,” he says.
“And how are you going to do that?” Cromwell replies.
Bottas tells her he needs to change his style. Obviously she asks what he means because that’s a very random thing to pipe up with, and he simply replies: “You’ll see.”
Enter the absolute madman walking into a barber in a t-shirt (this is an important detail, just hold tight) chucking off his cap and getting his blonde locks hacked into a mullet. Jordan Dowsett from Love Island Australia has been found shaking.
But wait, that’s not all! The barber then whips off the cape to reveal Bottas holding a bottle of VB and wearing a green singlet with a photo of the frothy on it. That’s right, the t-shirt he wore when he walked into the barber is nowhere to be seen. A sheer feat of cinematography, I tell you.
As “She Works Hard For The Money” by Donna Summer plays, Bottas rakes his fingers through his new, sexy mullet and then hits the beach, where he dramatically kicks his thongs into the air.
The vid ends with Bottas and Cromwell chilling on a bench. He tells her he finally feels at home and she replies: “As long as you’re happy.”
And scene.
You can watch the stunning vid in all its mulleted glory below.
Obviously the cinematic masterpiece was met with rapturous praise.
“This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve never been proud of the mullet but you’ve changed me,” fellow F1 king and Australia’s husband Daniel Ricciardo commented.
“Yessss mate!!! 😂🙌🏻” Danish F1 driver Kevin Magnussen wrote.
“Good form, VB 🔥 You’re one of us now 🇦🇺” the official F1 Australian Grand Prix Insta said.
Honestly, Valtteri Bottas kinda slayed the house boots down. Mans really turned into a fair dinkum bloke over the course of a minute.
