Well Plow Us Face Down In The Dirt, It’s The Fucken ‘Farming Sim 19’ Trailer

Are you looking for some excitement on your Monday? Has Carol stunk up the office with her rancid microwaved lunch again? Need something great to look forward to? Well guess-fucking-what, folks? Farming Sim 19 has just copped its first gameplay trailer and it’s here to sexually stimulate the tractor appreciation region of your beautiful brain. Can I get a FUCK YEAH?

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You better believe the Farm Simulator team isn’t here to fuck spiders, mates, they’re here to sow the seeds of EXCITEMENT. You think you can handle the “deepest, most complete farming simulator ever,” as the release says? Ha! Good luck. One sniff of this here trailer will have you pissing tears in a matter of seconds.

What’s new in this edition of simulated farming, you ask? FUCKING. HEAPS. CHAMP. Oh, you wanted more than 300 unique vehicles and equipment from leading real-world brands including John Deere, New Holland, ChallengerFendt, Massey Ferguson, Valtra, Krone, Deutz-Fahr, and more? Well, get ready to tuck that boner into your belt buckle, friends, because you’re getting all of that shit. ALL OF IT.

In other words, Farming Sim 19 is gonna fuck you up so good you’ll be coughing up hay for weeks. Check out the intense trailer below if you think you can handle it.

If that doesn’t make you wanna PLOW some shit with an untamed ferocity, then you simply do not have a soul. At launch, the new title will have two new American and European environments ready for you to farm the everloving SHIT out of.

“Plant and harvest many types of crops including the all-new cotton and oats. Tend to your livestock – cows, pigs, sheep, chicken – and for the first time raise and ride horses to explore the huge environments,” the release says.

I’m sorry, but did you just see that bit about RIDING GODDAMN HORSES? Screw Red Dead Redemption 2, this is the galloping good time of a game you’ve been looking for, folks. Just fuck me UP, fam.

If you’re keen to harvest some of the best times you could possibly ask for – and let’s face it, you are – then you can pick up Farming Simulator 19 on the 20th of November for Xbox One, PS4, or PC.