Obviously there were a number of exciting revelations last night. The YES vote triumphed. The Socceroos made the World Cup. We have also learned that Malcolm Turnbull simply does not know how to use a television. His TV setups are – to put it lightly – an absolute disgrace.
Remarkably, Turnbull posted not one, but two TV setups on social media last night. The first – clearly taken in his office or a similar room – shows a TV which is absolutely far too close to the ground.
Turnbull’s Instagram stories continue to reveal details his odd lifestyle like this really low TV pic.twitter.com/UKSLpWvuzI
— Tom Joyner (@tomrjoyner) November 15, 2017
First of all, anyone who puts their TV in a cupboard is a weirdo, to be quite honest. This isn’t a school classroom in 1997. I’m trying to imagine what the conversation would have been when he got some tradie at Parliament House to set up this abomination:
“Malcolm, where would you like to place the TV?”
“Inside that floor-level credenza.”
“You mean on top of it?”
“No. Inside. Behind the cupboard doors.”
There also seems to be the fact that Malcolm’s line of sight doesn’t quite align with the television screen. It’s almost like he’s watching the space about ten centimetres above the screen. Which is fine, considering that watching that floor-level-ass TV from a standing position would absolutely decimate your neck.
My only option is to assume that Malcolm watches TV while lying on his stomach, chin in his hands kicking his feet gaily like he’s a kid in an 80s sitcom. That’s literally the only way this abominable television setup makes sense.
So that was bad enough. But then Malcolm saw fit to post a photo of himself watching the Socceroos game on a different, even more horrific television setup. What is this?
Let’s not even get into the completely fucked up cabling situation Malcolm has going on here. There’s a 3,000 word essay in how Malcolm appears to have initiated some kind of rudimentary cable tying system, before jumbling them all up in a big fuckin’ mess and cramming it behind his television.
Let’s instead focus on the real matter at hand in this hellish version of a man cave. Why on earth is the TV set up on top of a mantelpiece, in a position where it looks like it could be destroyed if someone opened the adjacent door too quickly? Why in God’s name has he done this? Is this man human?
His choice of armchair is appalling too, but it’s not even close to the worst thing going on here. My dude here is tilting his head back at a sharply acute angle to even catch a glimpse of that insanely placed TV. If you put this photograph in front of the proud posters on the AUSSIE MAN CAVES group on Facebook, they would boot you from the page and then – rightfully – call the cops.
People very much took note of Malcolm’s shameful, alien viewing habits:
Do rich people not know how to TV https://t.co/APONtacPCo
— Yudi (@Yudi_Aus) November 15, 2017
— DC Callan (@callapygian) November 15, 2017
I’m an electrician in Melbourne happy to quote you on a decent install of your av gear @thepmo I can’t stand that exposed cabling for our top office holder https://t.co/eBlM2SWUXt
— Phil Harris (@ataletoldbyanid) November 15, 2017
Take him up on his offer, Malc. Fix your fucking cabling, and for God’s sake learn how to place a television at eye level.
UPDATE: I did not notice that Malcolm had in fact replied to the tradie in the last tweet there, agreeing to take him up on his generous offer. I sincerely regret this.
I was informed of this by none other than the Prime Minister’s Office who were concerned about the crudeness of the final sentence.
Malcolm, I implore you, if you’re going to roast me from behind your office’s Twitter account, you should at least avoid using extremely Turnbullian phrases like “tad remiss”.