Everybody Forgot How Fucking Hard ‘Crash Bandicoot’ Was Until This Weekend

The Crash Bandicoot trilogy remaster came out just in time for the weekend, and OG fans plugging in for that rush of endorphins to the brain’s hypersensitive nostalgia cortex are realising something easily forgotten in the haze of the late 90s / early 2000s: Crash Bandicoot is fucking hard.

I played it a bit over the weekend and am happy to report that it’s the first time in ages that a video game has made me want to insert a pencil into my brain via my nostril to make the frustration go away.
Though it’s totally graphically revamped and looks great, the mechanics are essentially identical. These are pure 90s mechanics, when games weren’t actually designed to be fun, but as an exercise in spiritual deprivation. Back then they thought electronic entertainment was meant to be a punishing death march which left you a husk of your former self.
The first five or so levels of the game are actually supremely easy, lulling you into a false sense of security before WHAM – you’re confronted with two examples of now-illegal corporal punishment masquerading as levels, named Hog Wild and Native Fortress. I don’t remember them being that hard when I was a kid, but maybe I’ve repressed it.
It’s okay if you’re struggling with it. So is the rest of the internet right now.

Let us all suffer as one.
Source: Twitter.
Photo: Crash Bandicoot.

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