Police from the land before time are appealing to you The General Public for help in finding a giant fibreglass dinosaur kidnapped from The National Dinosaur Museum, Canberra, according to another wonderful Slow News Sunday report filed by The ABC and the Herald Sun.
Standing 1.6m in height and measuring 3m in length, the missing Utahraptor is believed to have been taken between the hours of Thursday night and Friday morning. It’s thought to have been targeted by thieves, haters of Science and Education, after it was moved from its usual point of guard to accommodate perplexing landscaping renovations.
A museum spokesperson, Ben Wardle, says the statue was left outside unsecured while “large granite boulders” were added to the gardens to make them “a bit more accessible and enjoyable.” It’s unknown at present whether the large granite boulders, old as Time and Life itself, have made the garden more accessible and enjoyable, though that seems to contradict everything that is known to be true about large granite boulders; cumbersome and lifeless, much like a statue of a dinosaur. In the morning after the renovations, museum staff “discovered that [the Utahraptor] was missing.
It is quite heavy and awkward, it would required more than one person to carry it, and it wouldn’t fit in an ordinary sedan.”
The perpetrator profiles then read something like the following: at least two (probably) men with a most extraordinary sedan unlike any other, a blatant disregard for the children who attend informative and fun birthday parties at the Gold Creek museum [have done, circa ’99] and a very large hangover, extra large fries to-go. May or may not be Clive Palmer.
Also, they have a life-size Utahraptor in their possession.
If you see something – like, dunno, a long dinosaur – say something. ‘Cool dinosaur, bro‘ is one thing you could say.
‘You’re under citizen’s arrest, haters,’ is another.
Crime Stoppers/Sam Neill: 1800 333 000.
via The ABC
