Alright, for fuck’s sake. We’re not playing around anymore. This is extremely serious.
Among the many other facts contained within the Australian Handbook given to all people either at birth or at naturalisation (e.g. “the drop bear myth must be protected at all costs”; “all hot days must be acknowledged with the standard line ‘faaarrrrrk it’s hot’”; “all pollies are crims, all cops are bastards”) is perhaps the most important piece of Australian knowledge of them all:
- The best ice cream topping? Milo.
So by that logic you’d at least *think* that certain fast food chains would have entertained the idea of introducing the holy powder to their range of dessert options.
The drink that we ourselves invented would logically start appearing as an official dessert item here first. Here, in Australia.
But oh, no. Oh bloody no.
Somehow some rat fuck has leaked vital secrets of the utmost national importance to parts of south-east Asia. And now it is, in fact, Malaysia who has beaten us to the punch.
The Malaysian McDonald’s is rolling out a limited-time-only Milo McFlurry, and it looks like it’s everything your childhood ice cream lovin’ heart could ever want.
LOOK.
FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. IT’S BEAUTIFUL.
How on earth have we, as a nation, allowed ourselves to be not the best at Milo? How did we let some other country beat us to that post?
This is like if the English were suddenly any good at cricket. Or if Americans started using “seppo” as a term of endearment. Or if New Zealand tried to claim Crowded House as their own.
It’s unacceptable. It’s heresy. It cannot be allowed.
Until such time as McDonald’s Australia does the right thing, we highly suggest ordering plain McFlurry’s and mixing your own Milo into them right in their faces. Take action! Take up arms! Stir the pot AND your desserts!
It’s the treat we deserve to have, dear friends.
Source: McDonald’s Malaysia/Facebook.
Photo: McDonald’s Malaysia/Facebook.
