Just when we thought we had it figured out, we cop a story like this.
The ocean’s full of tiny, deadly jellyfish – okay, that’s fine, we won’t go in the ocean. Rivers and creeks are where crocodiles live, so we don’t go there either. The bush is spider territory, never go bushwalking, that’s okay. We’ve carved out a tiny little slice of civilisation on this hellscape full of things with teeth and venom, and we will stick to it and never sleep because otherwise we’ll end up with unwanted bedfellows. We’ve built cities and we’re safe in them.
Or so we thought. Foolishly. Because nowhere is safe.
Not even the very heart of Brisbane, a mostly-concrete urban centre of more than 2 million people, which is where our latest snek story comes from. A 32-year-old man was reportedly bitten by a brown snake last night at Quay Central, a high rise complex in the middle of the fucken city.
A brown snake. In a high rise. In the middle. Of the city.
The bloke is okay – he got bitten on the foot and is in a stable condition in hospital. A Brisbane snake catcher has confirmed all of our worst fears: the number of snakes found inside people’s houses (and, presumably, inner-city buildings) has tripled compared to previous years. TRIPLED.
So where to now, Australia? The moon? Probably the moon. No snakes on the moon.
Yet.
Source: Courier Mail.
Image: Richard Sharrocks / Getty.
