Kim Kardashian, the queen of the spiciest slays and keen spreader of the awareness of Getting-Your-Ass-Up-And-Working has added a shocking new bra to her Skims collection that’s sure to make a lasting point. That’s a pun, because – oh whatever you’ll get it in a second.
The new Ultimate Nipple Bra by Skims takes their successful Ultimate Bra range and adds fake nipples, giving you the permanent cold-nipple appearance you’ve always wanted.
Honestly? It’s the innovation the world has been waiting for. Kim Kardashian is clearly a time-traveller, or at least a futurist.
Kim claimed that the fake nips provide “the ultimate shock factor,” and you can’t really say she’s wrong.
However it’s the announcement video that actually sent us. Peak Kimmy K chaos.
Kim opens the eye-catching ad with her sitting at a computer in glasses and the new bra, appearing as though she is researching something. She then says:
“The Earth’s temperature is getting hotter and hotter. The sea levels are rising. The ice sheets are shrinking.”
At which point most people have absolutely no idea what they’ve clicked on. I was asking myself if this was Kim’s announcement that she planned on limiting the amount of Kardashian family private jet trips. She then continues:
“And I’m not a scientist, but I do believe everyone can use their skillset to do their part.”
And what is exactly is Kim’s “part” in stopping climate change? Will Skims be making their products out of reusable straws?
No, Kim’s idea has a far greater societal impact.
“That’s why I’m introducing a brand-new bra with a built-in nipple. So no matter how hot it is, you’ll always look cold.”
According to The New York Times, Skims value is estimated at over $4 billion USD.
After this announcement that they have single-handedly tackled one of the greatest problems caused by climate change, I wouldn’t be surprised if the value estimation goes up to $10 billion. (For editorial purposes: that was sarcasm.)
Won’t even lie, Kim absolutely popped off with the chaotic quotes in the video.
“Some days are hard… but these nipples are harder.”
Amazing, 10/10. Tattoo it on my nipples.
“And unlike the icebergs, these aren’t going anywhere.”
Do they give out Oscars for bra commercials? Because they fucking should. Here we can watch as Kim Kardashian does for climate change what Leonardo DiCaprio only wishes he could do.
One of the reasons this ad is so funny is because it was written by American comedian Michelle Wolf, who absolutely killed it with the script.
The video announcement of the Ultimate Nipple Bra has received 1.5 million likes on Kim’s Insta, and over 150K on Skim’s page. However not all the fans are sure about the product.
“Is this a joke??? Please tell me this is a joke!!” commented one user.
However others saw a benefit of the bra’s fake nipples that many might overlook.
“As a breast cancer survivor thank you so much!!!! I’m actually crying RN!” celebrated a fan.
The Ultimate Nipple Bra is available for order on Skims’ site as of the 31st of October, and will set you back $62.