I don’t think we need to tell you that Kmart is love and Kmart is life. That sensation of stepping across the bright white-linoleum threshold into a world of colourful, cheap wonders, is one of Earth’s finest.

Just quickly, no this is not a sponno post for Kmart, we simply froth them as much as you lot and this new line of homewares, which drops tomorrow, is worthy of attention.

The lush-looking new range from K-mizzle was first announced last week but all we had to go on was some sneaky preview pics on Insty from the likes of accounts named ‘kmartlover’ but now ahead of it hitting stores nationwide tomorrow we have all the sweet pics and prices to drool over.

LET’S DO THAT THEN:

Velvet Chair – $39

Image: Kmart

Velvet chairs! Great for sitting on, great for drawing dicks in with your finger. Also that blue is quite frankly, popping off.

 16 Piece Rose Gold Cutlery Set – $19

Image: Kmart

Every single terrace share house in cities across the country will have these rose gold food rakes in their grotty top drawers by the end of the year, we’re calling it.

Bamboo Bath Caddy – $15

Image: Kmart

If you’re gonna sit in a stew of your own foul juices for half an hour or so, why not compliment it with this caddy, where you can put your book AND your chilled water served in a wine glass.

Lucia Rattan Chair – $49

Image: Kmart

Pretend you know what the words ‘lucia’ and ‘ratten’ mean by whacking your arse into this wooden chair. Wooden chairs! Just like grandmama used to make!

Circular Plant Stand – $19

Image: Kmart

Hahahah omg you still put your plants in SQUARE stands? Don’t even fuckin’ look at me if you do, you pleb. *spits*

Door Stop Elephant – $9

Image: Kmart

Ok so firstly, CUTE! Secondly, think how many “let’s talk about the elephant in the room” jokes you could make. At least one, that’s for sure!

Ladder Bookshelf Scandi – $25

Image: Kmart

Dear IKEA, eat a dick.

Blue Ribbed Vase – $5

Image: Kmart

Whack your flowery goods in this vase, ribbed, for your pleasure. Also you can put your weed in there!

Smokey Glass Side Table – $15

Image: Kmart

Cop the full luxo range here and get rdy to kit your entire sharehouse out in cheap but glam goodies.

Image: Kmart