Endearing billionaire mining mogul cum politician Clive Palmer has – at last – unveiled his pièce de résistance of his elaborate life, pre-emptively upstaging his supposed Titanic II by officially opening Palmersaurus, an eponymous dinosaur park made in Palmer’s legacy whose completely serious name I most definitely didn’t, but most definitely wish I did, make up. Australia, this is your life.
Located on the grounds of Palmer’s Coolum resort in Queensland, Palmersaurus unsubtly makes a meal of the now seemingly petty Wet N Wild Sydneysiders have been holding so dear, by presenting 160 dinosaurs (moving and roaring!) for your viewing pleasure. Take that, amusement park amateurs.
Speaking to Fairfax, Clive Palmer slyly dodged the legitimate question of how much fucking money did you pour into this vanity project, by giving advice you definitely should not follow unless you happen to be Gina Rinehart, “I never worry about money because if you live your life properly, you always have enough money to do what you want to do.”
Palmer continued, “Only my wife counts the money, I just count the experience, we’re all travellers through life….So I’ve got no idea (how much it cost) – I’d say we spent enough money, but there are still some sleepy dinosaurs there that should be in a much better condition next week.” Seeing as dinosaurs do cost a thang, however, the price to enter the Palmersaurus is $100 for a family of four. “It’s a lot cheaper than going to Disneyland,” Palmer reminded Fairfax. The man has a point.
Palmer also stated that the park has an underlying environmental message: “…We’ve got to make sure we all learn from the lesson of the dinosaurs, we all learn that Australia can be a better place if we look after the environment.”
Let’s take a look at what’s popped up on Instagram following Saturday’s official opening of Palmersaurus. It goes without saying, we want to go to there.
Dinosaurs on dinosaurs!
Snakes!
Jurassic Park-inspired logo!
A glorious sight.
Jungles!
The Irwin’s are into it.
Smoothest jaw movements.
Via SMH.
