Some soon to be Oprah-rich Australian person a police sketch reveals to be a hysterical stick figure with a giant question mark for a face holding up big hessian sacks with dollars signs on them has given themselves the greatest gift of them all – a big pile of money – they just don’t know it yet.
A single ticket stub matched the seven winning numbers in the $70 million Oz Lotto
draw last night – 26, 24, 20, 17, 34, 39 and 36 – distributing the entire $70m jackpot to just one person, an Australian record.
The person, who we resent in no way whatsoever for being really great at choosing an arbitrary series of numbers and using those skills to win the ability to never have to work again and buy a low-level private island in Barbados somewhere, purchased the winning ticket somewhere in Queensland, officials have confirmed.
Last night’s $70 million paper tsunami is the biggest torrential downpour of lotto winnings ever to grace the country, beating out the $58.7 million won by a syndicate in 2008 and the nearly $112 million shared by four winning tickets in 2012.
So then, where are you mystery winner? Are you weary of counter-intuitive sounding but somewhat legitimised claims of a lottery curse? Are you just really hungover right now? Or have you watched an unhealthy amount of Lost recently and are now irrationally terrified that the act of claiming the winnings will result in a soul-destroying existence shrouded in poetic bad luck and everyone you know and love dying in the most horrific ways possible. A terrifying prospect, sure, but think of all the prescription medication you could buy.
Via SMH
