Amanda Bynes Denies Throwing A Bong Out Of Her High-Rise Apartment In Court

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Published

May 25, 2013

America’s Selfie Taken From My Bad Angle Ugh Please Delete, Amanda Bynes, appeared in court overnight to plead ‘not guilty obvs’ to charges of throwing a bong out the window of her 36th-floor Midtown Manhattan apartment.

Bynes appeared before a judge to deny charges of marijuana possession, reckless endangerment and attempted tampering with physical evidence, according to court documents. Her attorney also accused the NYPD of entering Casa di Bynes illegally, where the only crime is the crime of not having the time of your life.

“Clearly a search was made for the bong and nothing was recovered,” attorney Andrew Friedman told the people’s court. “My client completely denies ever having thrown anything out the window. She was followed illegally into her apartment for no reason.”

Nuh-uh, claim New York police, who were called to Amanda’s 47th Street high-rise home after the doorman reported a certain someone was smoking the marijuana tablets in the lobby.

Police allege they were then shown to the threshold of Maison Mandy, where the actress willingly invited them in to The Girls’ Room, coaxed by the alure of Californian hospitality and wafting eau de bong.

Officers said they observed the notorious bong before Bynes grabbed said bong – ‘What, this old vase!?’ – and threw it into her al fresco closet [the window] sending it earthward to smash on the curb like a thousand crystal dreams. Bynes was then taken into custody for psychiatric evaluation.

Amandamandamanda is currently on probation for driving on a suspended license in California and will return to court on July 9th.

On her way out, Bynes politely said “Thank you, sir,” to the judge before engaging the services of a taxi cab with an unfortunate roof advertisement who whisked her away back to the glittering tragicomic shrine of her still unverified Twitter account.

I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life! I need to get another nose job after seeing my mugshot! 😀

— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) May 24, 2013