Normally I don’t particularly care for the Emmy Awards, but the 2019 Emmy Awards I am very much here for. Why? Well, I have been in a life rut and watching far too much TV than is normal.
[jwplayer oVZ9sHTz]
This means I actually know who everyone is this year and am equally excited to see what all these people I consider my “friends” (I know, I need help) are wearing.
Also I missed my bus this morning so that’s all the intro you get – here’s my picks and not-picks for the 2019 Emmy Awards red carpet looks.
PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE
If you don’t have a crush on this woman WHAT IS THE POINT. WHY ARE YOU HERE. If you don’t know this woman, get out of my sight. Just kidding – I only require you to hang your head in shame and have a soft cry, then immediately walk out of work, download Fleabag S1/2 and Killing Eve S1/2, followed by Crashing, and get acquainted.
I don’t care what she’s wearing, she could have arrived in glad wrap and I would have squealed in delight and given her 10’s across the board.
PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE, SIAN CLIFFORD & ANDREW SCOTT
This is just a PWB fan account now. Look it’s my mum and my dad and my favourite aunty. I do have to just gently chastise Sian for those shoulder flaps.
JODIE COMER
I swear I’ll move on from PWB-based content after this, but oh my god how goddamn good does Villanelle look when she’s not murdering people? Also while she’s murdering people, but you know.
I thought I hated the bikini-top-with-sleeves vibe up there but I’ve decided I don’t.
EMILIA CLARKE
Chaotic evil would be wearing this dress without any gaffer tape binding it to your skin. I do wish I never looked closely and saw the weird lower-hip ruffle that makes the whole thing look like a really nice dress, with a weird bumster-jeans-level skirt on top but look, if you just squint it’s a 10/10.
AMY POEHLER
This is on par with the time I thought wearing navy blue eyeshadow up to my eyebrows to Year 10 formal was a good idea.
KARAMO BROWN
Oof look, I want to love this but the cape looks so CHEAP, you know? Karamo, you almost had it! And you’re always so good. I’m sad.
GWENDOLINE CHRISTIE
I don’t know what’s happening here but I vote Gwendoline for the next Pope, if that’s what this is about.
NATHALIE EMMANUEL
Speaking of Year 10 formals, this is almost exactly what 150/200 girls wore to mine.
BRITTANY SNOW
This is some real Cinderella energy and normally I’d fucking hate it, but Brit Snow IS basically Cinderella IRL. How has someone not tapped her for any/all remakes of Disney princess films.
ZENDAYA
If Brittany Snow is Cinderella, Zendaya is WASTED not playing The Little Mermaid rn. This is H E A V E NNNNNNNNNN.
TARAJI P. HENSON
Someone had better have been scream-whispering “TARAJI!” every ten seconds as Taraji walked the red carpet, is all I’m saying. This dress demands it. This pose demands it. TARAJI DEMANDS IT.
MARISA TOMEI
Marisa, silently screaming/mentally firing her stylist because she’s arrived as Taraji Lite.
NAOMI WATTS
When I saw this from far away I was all mehhhh, but up close the level of detail in the overlay and the bodice? Absolute heaven.
RUPAUL
I mean, I expected nothing less.
LILY SINGH
It’s a TAD Textiles 101, but the colour is fab on Lily and her hair/makeup is on point.
SACHA BARON COHEN & ISLA FISHER
I wish they’d co-ordinated bc I love a couples co-ordination, but I love Isla’s shimmery dress and frankly I’m just relieved these two are keeping my belief in love going by not splitting up like every other goddamn Hollywood couple (I’M NOT OVER IT MILEY AND LIAM).
BILLY PORTER
Pose is all I care about right now besides PWB based content, if you haven’t watched it DO IT IMMEDIATELY. I knew Billy wouldn’t disappoint, and goddamn he has not disappointed. I want to buy a house on his hat and live there.
JOEY KING
One of the only people I will allow to wear a Year 10 formal dress on the red carpet, because she exclusively plays Year 10 students.
MAHERSHALA ALI
And the only person allowed to wear idiotic useless sunglasses on the red carpet because let’s be honest, he looks fucking TIGHT in them.
HALSEY
Yeah ok Halsey, I can fuck with this. That train is literal art.
JAMEELA JAMIL
I’m concerned Jameela won’t be able to hug anyone considering her right arm is in prison c/o that one sleeve, but this is very much HER colour and the contrasting orange/red lippie is a good vibe.
BENICIO DEL TORO
There was a weird brief period of my life where I had an uncomfortable crush on Benicio Del Toro, and I hate that this has brought it to the forefront of my mind again.
SANDRA OH
The hair is a bit manic in side-view shots of this situation, like very much a pineapply curl thing but in that way where you just piled your filthy hair on your head to get it off your face during an all-nighter study sesh, you know? Here, look:
I see what they were going for but I also wish they’d contained their excitement a little. That being said this dress is a VISION on Sandra, and that wash of pale pink shadow could have gone so wrong, but it’s gone so, so right.
NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU
You know I’m partial to men in suits that aren’t borza black tux’s, so Nikolaj was already winning but then he came at us with the gold brocade!?!?! Bitchhhhhh this is too much, I’m having a small asthma wheeze.
KERRY WASHINGTON
WHEEZING OVERLOAD, this is too fucking good!! Kerry [clap] HANDLED [clap] IT. It’s 100% handled. Olivia Pope would never, but she should.
