It’s bad enough that you can only get mid-strength beer at night games in Melbourne these days, (but full strength is still allowed in the day because getting pissed at 2pm is somehow a better option), and don’t even get me started on the soaring price of a box of undercooked chips.
But despite the AFL‘s attempts to increase the fan experience, authorities seem hell-bent on sapping what little remaining actual fun is to be had at match-days, with their attention now turning to club’s pre-game antics.
Victoria Police have put the kibosh on all teams using t-shirt guns and t-shirt cannons, unbelievably stating that the compressed-air tubes that shoot literal rolled-up t-shirts into the air are as dangerous as a machine gun or a bazooka. Seriously.
Clubs in Melbourne, such as North Melbourne, had been using the machines to launch free t-shirts into the crowds at grounds before AFL games, with the Kangaroos even purchasing a 12-shirt cannon earlier this year.
But an off-duty police official attending the game saw the cannons in action, which has no lead to the police asserting that the devices require special permits to operate them, and that no such permit would be issued to an AFL club.
Police have stated that t-shirt cannons require a category E firearm license, which is the license you need to own and operate machine guns, bazookas, tear gas cannons, mortars, rocket-propelled grenades, and now also apparently air guns that launch free medium cotton shirts that say “Go Roos” into the air.
Vic Police also expressed concern for the safety of patrons in the crowd, and if that wasn’t cited under the title of “Maude’s Law” then this whole thing is instantly 100% more bung than it already is. Clubs would need to obtain a “populous place permit” to carry these “loaded weapons” at sporting grounds, but police also ruled out ever granting any application for these made by an AFL club.
Quite obviously, the decision has been met with utter bewilderment, with AFL Fan Association boss Gerry Eeman making a very valid point about t-shirts and cricket balls.
“We’re afraid of a T-shirt? A cricket ball is far more dangerous than a T-shirt and at Big Bash and Twenty20 matches they’re trying to hit as many of them into the crowd as possible.”
The AFL is (at least “officially”) abiding by Vic Police’s decision, because of course they are.
The children. Won’t somebody think of them.
Source: Herald Sun.
