No one, anywhere in the world, is having more fun than Alex Ovechkin right now.

The Washington Capitals captain is in the middle of what looks to be a really bloody loose party in celebration of the side’s NHL Stanley Cup victory, secured late last week thanks to a 4-1 pasting of the upstart Vegas Golden Knights.

As is tradition – and because hockey absolutely owns – the historic Stanley Cup is travelling around the traps with Ovi and the team, and is more often than not the centrepiece of celebrations.

Some players take it to their home town and show it off at local clinics. Others whisk it around the golf course. Some even fill the cup with hot dogs and chow down.

Ovi, on the other hand, has chosen to go completely boonta with it.

Ovi’s big day with the cup began at a Washington Nationals baseball game, where the big Russian – apparently unaware of how Jumbotrons at baseball parks work – began wildly waving the cup around in a corporate box at random intervals throughout the game.

Hell yeah. Hell YEAH.

From there, because it was an afternoon game, Ovechkin had plenty of time to do pretty much whatever the hell he wanted. And what he wanted to do was fill the cup up with beer and do a damned keg stand on Lord Stanley’s head.

Your average bloke would have a hard time finding something to top that, but your average bloke doesn’t have long-awaited NHL glory pumping through his veins. So as you would, Ovi then proceeded to pop his shirt off and dive into a public fountain to do some snow (water?) angels.

That, in turn, became an impromptu bar-wide dance party in the water as ordinary citizens slowly discovered that they too can simply get in the fountain if they want because who the hell is gonna stop them? The COPS??

After that, Ovechkin marched the Stanley Cup into a different nearby bar, immediately becoming the King of said bar and granting him the power to do anything he liked, which in this case was go behind the bar, order someone to pour a comically large-sized bottle of champagne into the cup, and lead the entire facility in a singalong of We Are The Champions.

It’s a common tune for Ovechkin throughout the celebrations, too. Here he is singing it again while attempting to cultivate a fire large enough to bring down small aircraft.

You’ll be pleased to know that he did make it home safely, despite attempting to single-handedly drink Washington D.C. dry.

The cup made it home too.

Here they are safely and snugly tucked into bed together.

Hockey owns. Hockey players are legends. Alexander Ovechkin is one hell of a loose unit.

Unbelievable that a Russian is more universally beloved in the American capital than the President is right now.

Image: Getty Images / Jahi Chikwendiu