It’s certainly not a secret that security guards tasked with the – rather unenviable – job of patrolling AFL grounds aren’t exactly the pick of the litter, particularly when it comes to being armed with the wherewithal to do the job properly. But even this goes far beyond that into utterly ludicrous territory.

In an already-piss bad week for footy security teams – one in which fans were reportedly ejected from grounds for barracking too loud (even though some definitely deserved to be booted) and league administrators have been forced into crisis mode to avoid looking like they’re waging war on the average punter – an incident at Blundstone Arena in Hobart has emerged that might just be the cherry on the deeply crook cake.

During Sunday’s clash between North Melbourne and Greater Western Sydney, a rather heated scuffle broke out between noted Giants agitator Heath Shaw and Roos midfielder Jack Ziebell.

Normally these things fizzle out by themselves, because footy is nothing if not the great equaliser.

On this occasion, however, some random secco saw fit to try and march onto the ground and break the dang thing up, coming perilously close to being sucked into the fracas like a twig through a woodchipper before an emergency umpire barked at him to get the fuck back.

Unbloodyreal. Heath Shaw and Jack Ziebell sport rigs like a pair of Isuzu’s. Old mate would’ve been churned up smoother than a post-game recovery smoothie.

The AFL sure as hell has a real and pressing problem on their hands with regards to arena security. Just add it to the mounting list of problems the league has made for itself in what’s turning out to be a shitty, shitty year for Big Gill.