I should preface this article by saying I am a woman who came up in the era of the “rabbit” vibrator. It was large, purple, aggressive and loud. I blame Sex and the City for making me think I urgently needed a rabbit vibrator in my life. Every time I used it I actually felt so self-conscious about the whole scenario that I couldn’t even get off. When I moved house, I threw it in the bin and never looked back.
Well, it’s been 84 years, but I’m finally back on the sex toy train, and I’m loving the ride.
I recently eased myself back into the game with one of those dainty little waterproof fits-neatly-in-your-palm vibes, and let me tell you, I’ve never looked forward to my evening shower more.
Talking about my new-found vibrating friend to a mate of mine, she said casually, “Oh, you need to try one of the ones that sucks and pulsates, they’re SO good.”
So I had a little Google. I came across NZ brand Girls Get Off and the Missy vibrator.
I was intrigued. The Missy looked a hell of a lot different to my little shower pal, and worlds apart from my insanely large rabbit (RIP). It has this intriguing hole in the middle, and my research on the Girls Get Off site told me that this acts as a “clitoral vacuum that compares to mind-blowing oral sex”.
I spoke to some other friends, who also sung the praises of this kind of toy from the rooftops (the rooftops being our group chat). It didn’t hurt that the Missy vibrator also has 540+ five-star reviews. I got influenced, okay!!!
So I bit the bullet and got my hands on one of these baddies. A friend warned me to lube up before using this type of sucking vibrator, but to be honest the anticipation of trying it out for the first time had me sorted in that department. Sorry if TMI, but this is an article about a vibrator.
When the Missy vibrator arrived I plugged it in to charge for the recommended two hours, because I wasn’t going to do things by halves. When it came to using it, I was a bit nervous at first, and had visions of news headlines reading Woman Sucks Clitoris Off Her Body When Using Vibrator For First Time with my sad face in the lead image.
But the sucking is quite gentle – at least, at the lower setting. You can pump that bad boy up once you and your clit get used to it. And let me tell you, you will want to. It’s like having someone really skilful go down on you, except imagine their tongue doesn’t get tired. Revolutionary.
It was the true cliché of my knees going weak, my eyes rolling back in my head – I’m not a religious person, but I think this was a miracle?
If you have it turned up all the way, you might cum pretty quickly – a friend of mine says she only lasts 15 seconds with this type of sex toy – so I’d suggest playing around with the intensity to try and drag it out longer. Unless, of course, you want a quickie.
At first, I felt bad for my other bathroom friend, sitting all alone and neglected. But once my honeymoon period with Missy wore off, I went back to the other one. I now use whichever one strikes my fancy in the moment. They serve slightly different purposes and fulfil different needs. Any tradie will tell you, it’s important to have several tools in your toolbox.
Anyway, if you’ve been tossing up whether to get your hands on one of these Missy sucking vibrators then you absolutely should. You deserve a treat, and an orgasm that makes you see the face of God. Enjoy.
You can shop Girls Get Off’s Miss here.
