There are a lot of fucked sex stories out there but the one that was presented on the Toni and Ryan podcast has truly stood out for an incredibly cursed reason. Like, the cummies are cursed.
The Toni and Ryan podcast is a hilarious show hosted by Toni Lodge and Ryan Jon, where they discuss sex horror stories, swap questionable recommendations on food and movies, and all that fun stuff.
The show recently went gangbusters on social media after the dynamic duo shared a bonkers sex story that could definitely pass as a side plot from Ryan Murphy‘s American Horror Story. And, of course, if you haven’t noticed already, this story is definitely not safe for work. So if you get called out for being on this page, that’s on you, matey!
The story, which currently has more than one million views on TikTok, is about a woman who allegedly borrowed her mum’s — yes, her flesh and blood mother — dildo.
“This girl was using like a sex toy that she found in her mum’s drawer,” Toni began — and that’s already yucky enough in my eyes.
“Used it and was like — she said it was the best orgasm she’d ever had. And she said to her mum, ‘Where did you get that?’”
This is when things take a dark turn. A turn towards low vibrations and unwanted imagery.
“And then [the mum] goes, ‘It’s a mould of your dad’s cock.’ So if the dad’s cock is getting it done for Mum, the dad’s cock from the mould is getting it done for Jessica.”
OH. MY. GOD.
It’s horrifying. It’s sickening. It’s just EW.
Many users shared their two cents on the story in the comments, with many folks expressing their disgust.
“I didn’t think it could get worse, then it immediately did,” one person wrote.
“I would not be able to live any longer,” a second added.
“That’s [sic] puts a new meaning on ‘Like Mother, like Daughter,’” wrote a third.
On Toni’s Instagram (@tonilodge), one person claimed the story was about a Clone-a-Willy — a DIY naughty toy.
“The original story says the daughter was house-sitting at her parents and got under the bed to plug in her charger. Found a box and opened it and found the toy. Got frisky, gave it a wash and used it, resulting in the best orgasm of her life. Washes the toy again and while washing sees it’s stamped ‘Clone-a-Willy’ and realizes she had the best organisms from a close of her dad’s willy,” the user wrote.
I’ve got so many questions. Firstly, why is she borrowing her mum’s dildo? Isn’t that like highly unsanitary? Like, you’re literally sharing coochie juice with your BLOOD MOTHER.
And secondly, why are you using sex toys you found randomly? Again, unsanitary! Don’t get me started on the second half of the story. I don’t even want to think about it.
Honestly, the story is way too fucked to be true. I want to live in a universe where this is all make-believe.
But if it did — and the person who had this happen is reading this — I’m so sorry. At least you’ve got the guts to share this fucked up tale of caution … I guess?
Image source: Sex and the City