Today I am putting out a formal thank you to the people of Reddit (a rare occurrence). Specifically, to the SubwayCreatures subreddit, which has rediscovered Pizza Rat and Egg McMuffin Rat’s fancy cousin: Crab Rat.
Reddit user MrBonelessPizza reposted a video originally shared last August by the @subwaycreatures Instagram account.
In the video a noble, powerful, strong and brave New York City subway rat carries an entire crab along a train track.
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I don’t know where he got the crab or where he’s going. But in my heart I’d like to believe he’s bringing it home as a romantic meal for his rat wife, maybe as an apology for one too many nights working late at the Subway Rat Office.
This little rat took one look at his Subway Rat brethren and thought: “I’m going to one-up them. I’m going to carry a crustacean the size of my body and run towards a train”.
And by God, he did it.
It’s like a beautiful deleted scene from Ratatouille. I want to see Remy bringing this home to Linguini, and the two of them making a delicious crab fettuccine together.
Where’s the scene of Remy eating the crab and the tastes of the NYC subway (grease, spit, dirt) appearing as transcendent colours and sounds?
As someone who lives by the Treat Yo’ Self pledge, I feel the most powerful connection with Crab Rat, though each of the Famous Rat Dynasty plays an essential role in the rat canon.
As the first notable Subway Rat, Pizza Rat made us feel seen.
The idea of carrying a lone, possibly slimy piece of pizza through a train is one that surely resonates with any person who’s experienced a comedown/break-up/hangover. It created empathy between rat and human kind.
And Egg McMuffin rat? He was cheeky. He was complex. He loved the Macca’s breakfast menu (but don’t we all).
Chunky German Manhole Rat? He was simply adorable and had to be rescued by firefighters, which is everyone’s first teenage fantasy.
Their cousin Cigarette Cockroach? Well, he’s probably just French or still really into the Arctic Monkeys.
Cigarette Cockroach might just be the hero we deserve https://t.co/op3PlQp6ki
— Hal Rudnick (@halrudnick) October 18, 2019
But Crab Rat? He shows us that it’s okay to want the finer things in life.
That little rat is saying: go, order the lobster thermidor on UberEats. Buy that silly little treat for yourself. Don’t let others put constraints on your desires.
Pick that crab up. Carry it home to your rat wife.
