#KochiesNipples started trending on Twitter on Wednesday night and I simply cannot stress to you enough just how much I wish it didn’t.
If you’ve woken up confused as hell as to why David ‘Kochie’ Koch‘s nipples are such a hot commodity on Twitter, let me explain.
The Aussie comedy legends at The Chaser kicked off the trend after an otherwise quiet night in Australian media. Yes, quiet. No #libspill, no crazy The Bachelor moments, just radio silence, basically.
“News cycle is boring so tonight’s mission is to see if we can get #KochiesNipples trending just to confuse the hell out of the guy,” they tweeted.
News cycle is boring so tonight’s mission is to see if we can get #KochiesNipples trending just to confuse the hell out of the guy
— The Chaser (@chaser) October 21, 2020
And, as you’d expect, they did it. They really bloody did it. The crazy sons of bitches really did it.
How it started How it’s going pic.twitter.com/qMY1WPOqoZ
— The Chaser (@chaser) October 21, 2020
Honestly, the replies made me think about the breakfast TV host way more than I would’ve liked to at 6.30am on a Thursday morning. I’m just gonna come right out and say it: y’all are THIRSTY.
https://twitter.com/GaryDangerwood/status/1318861873844953088
No seriously, this is too much thirst. Do you need some water?
When the day has finally arrived and #KochiesNipples are trending. pic.twitter.com/ctc4EIZ6sj
— 𝗖𝗨𝗕𝗔𝗡 𝗔𝗣𝗘 (@anezkko) October 21, 2020
If #KochiesNipples did this 👇I might be interested pic.twitter.com/pBEqd1BPRF
— Shepbagel (@shepbagel) October 21, 2020
It really makes you think, doesn’t it? Where *does* the Cash Cow get his milk?
https://twitter.com/Slim_Ekim/status/1318854884398034945
This is all of us waking up right now.
Waking up to the latest trends #KochiesNipples pic.twitter.com/cGhzrrYGNw
— Luke Seal (@lukeseal84) October 21, 2020
Aaaaand this is Australian media.
https://twitter.com/andycjl/status/1318904478586732544
To quote our lord and saviour Jimmy Barnes, “how could I not believe [in Kochie’s nipples], when Ita tells me to?”
How many does he have? We ask Ita Buttrose and our panel of experts after the break #kochiesnipples
— TothetuneofdefyingGravity (@notsoyoungnow) October 21, 2020
It is simply too early to think about Kochie’s nipples.
https://twitter.com/benoco/status/1318892064117960704
Honestly, if Sunrise doesn’t at least mention it this morning, I will walk down to Channel 7 and sue them for emotional damages.
Anyway, that’s enough internet for one day. If you need your daily news updates, you’re going to have to watch Sunrise because I’m going to be too busy thinking about Kochie’s nipples to get any work done for the rest of the day.
