The White House Has Once Again Wheeled Out Its Deeply Cursed Easter Bunny

With the later-than-usual arrival of Easter comes one of America’s more incredibly strange political traditions: The White House Easter Egg Roll. An event in which scores of carefully selected and screened children are allowed onto the usually manicured lawns of the White House to race eggs along the ground while adults hoot and holler. But since the Trump Administration took over, the event has featured its own bananas tradition: The prominent appearance of an intensely cooked Easter Bunny.

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The Trump Bunny stood next to 45 as he delivered his Easter address to a crowd of children; one that extolled the virtues of a rebuilt military and continuing efforts to construct a border wall. Again, children under the age of 13 were the primary audience here.

Let’s not mince any words here: That bunny is fucked up. One of the worst bunnies in known existence, easily.

The terrible rabbit with the haunting vacant stare has been a fixture of Trump’s Easter speeches throughout his administration. A constant eggy companion.

It was there last year in 2018, gazing off into the hazy middle distance.

Image: Getty / Chip Somodevilla

And sure as shit, it was there in 2017 as well, with Barron Trump looking similarly fucking miserable.

Image: Getty / Chip Somodevilla

While it’s unquestionable at this point that the White House owns the truly morbid Easter costume, it’s worth noting that its promotion to Balcony Duty appears to be a Trump decision. Prior to 2017, the role was filled by a far more normal-looking rabbit during President Barack Obama‘s tenure in the top job.

Image: Getty / Drew Angerer

For what it’s worth, the cursed Trump Bunny appears to have been kept in storage for the entirety of Obama’s tenure in the Oval Office. You have to go all the way back to the years of George W Bush for the Cooked Bun to appear again.

Image: Getty / Chip Somodevilla

The key differences back then, was that the bunny was mercifully dressed in a garish vest, and still had a certain alertness about itself. There’s light in them eyes still, mates.

For the record, the bunny was not granted Balcony Duty by Dubya during his reign; that honour went to a horrifically dressed Lady Bunny who the then-President exhibited a uh… certain fondness for.

Image: Getty / Chip Somodevilla


So to recap here: For the third consecutive year, President Donald Trump has wheeled out his beloved cursed Easter Bunny, one he rescued from the George W Bush administration, stripped naked, and had its spirit killed, all so he could manipulate it like his own personal Weekend At Bernie’s, purely because it’s one of the few White House assets Obama never touched.

Normal stuff.