A bride-to-be has been roasted online for her “ridiculous” dress code, sparking a spicy debate as to whether it’s okay to treat your guests like children at a private school.
Someone who was *not* actually invited to her wedding shamed her in the infamous Facebook group ‘That’s It, I’m Wedding Shaming‘ — a group that will make you loathe the idea of ever having a wedding, TBH.
“When in the hell did we start telling guests what to wear?” the woman asked.
“This is utterly ridiculous and if I received this invitation, it would go directly into the bin.”
The invite in question read:
“Dress code: Formal (non-black tie) wear. Suits (preferably dark blue or dark grey, no tuxedos), ties, and dress shoes for men. No need to get creative,” she said, adding that linen is not the vibe and guests should wear “traditional fabric” for the actual wedding.
It also listed similarly strict dress requirements for women:
“For women, tea-length dresses are great. Knee-length also works, but make sure it is not too casual (no summer floral dresses, for example) and floor length is fine but make sure it is not an evening gala gown. Avoid any outrageous necklines, cut-outs or sparkles.
“The idea is to be formal and glam, but not like you are on the way to a black-tie gala. Solid jewel tones generally work better than florals. No black please!”
The dress code concluded with the “most important” bit.
“Most importantly, please make sure to cover your shoulders and back with a cardigan or light scarf!”
The invite divided readers and honestly, without further context clues it’s pretty hard to make a judgement here.
Some aspects of the dress code, like the “traditional fabric” and coverage of shoulders/cut-outs could be for religious or cultural reasons, as some readers pointed out.
“They could be getting married in a church, mosque, or synagogue – where this is a requirement. I would rather an invite tell me this than show up and not have known. Telling people gives people the opportunity to RSVP no if it’s an issue,” one user wrote.
“The covering of the shoulders and back indicates that it’s potentially in a church or other religious venue where bare shoulders aren’t appropriate,” another added.
“I know I personally probably wouldn’t even think to bring something to cover my shoulders unless it was actually cold, and then I would feel terrible because I’ve unintentionally been disrespectful to the couple and their religion or culture,” a third said.
However, you’d assume that any guests attending the wedding (see: not the OP) would have other context clues such as the address of the wedding, or the values of the couple, to help inform whether there was a deeper reason behind these aspects of the dress code. Strangers in a snarky Facebook group, however, do not have the added context.
Others weren’t so kind, with many saying they would purposely go against the dress code.
“With this many rules I’d be tempted to show up in a black sequinned and sparkly full train dress, with a feather fascinator on top,” one said.
While the dress code certainly is, umm, specific, I would argue that it is still better than the alternative vague dress code.
As someone who regularly attends events, there is nothing worse than a vague dress code that always results in you being horrifically under or overdressed. Actually, I take that back because the only thing worse than that is seeing a dude rock up to a wedding in an unironed suit.
Anyway, if this story taught me anything, it’s that I’m glad I am suddenly glad to be perpetually single.
