Ultramarathon Champ In The Shit After Being Caught Cheating Via Portaloo

portaloo ultramarathon

A four-time ultramarathon winner has been stripped of his titles and banned from the event, after officials discovered he’d been hiding in portaloos to fake his lap count.

45-year-old Kelly Agnew had won Across the Years, a 48-hour ultramarathon event in Arizona, four times since 2014, when he ran 201.5 miles under the time limit.

However officials had been suss on him since 2015, when he’d managed to add more than 55 miles to his previous achievement despite stopping running a full seven hours before the event finished.

This year, officials decided to track Agnew throughout the race, and discovered that he’d spent quite some time hiding out in the portable facilities before circling back and finishing a “lap” – without actually running it at all.

In a Facebook post, the race organisers explained:

At this year’s edition of the Across The Years Multiday footraces at Camelback Ranch we disqualified participant Kelly Agnew after witnessing him registering laps without running the complete loop of the course. He missed the remote timing point on the half way point of the course on laps 11, 14 and 17. He was witnessed circling back at the start/finish staging area after completing a lap, spending over 7 minutes in a portable restroom and then “completing” the lap and going on for his next without actually running the mile plus loop.

He was subsequently approached and asked to turn in his bib and chip after we informed him of what we witnessed with the missed laps.

The winners from previous years have been updated to reflect the races run by people who weren’t inspired to villainy by cartoons and teen movies.