At this point, we can only speculate that Tony Abbott is some kind of warlock, whose mind-altering magic has backfired horrifically. Everything he sees is coming up Tones, every situation serves to remind him of his dopeness. Always. Forever.
With that in mind, it’s not exactly a surprise the ex-PM told Fairfax he put in a good shift in the top job, but the veracity of his claims is still jarring. Reflecting on his ousting, Tones said he’d done a bang-up job, basically:
“If I’d been knocked over by a bus on the day of the coup, I would have gone to the Pearly Gates and given an upbeat assessment.I don’t believe we could have done much more or much better than we did. There was an enormous amount of solid achievement.”
Oh. Oh mate.
He also hung responsibility for his government’s actual shortcomings on a “feckless Senate, an irresponsible Labor Party, a poisonous media culture and well organised white-anting.” So, business as usual, then.
If there is one thing we’ve learned though, it’s that Abbott’s choice of hypothetical death may have outed him as a closet fan of The Smiths. A heavenly way to die, indeed.
Story via Fairfax.
Image: Stefan Postles via Getty.
Image: Stefan Postles via Getty.
