In what was both an exquisite display of engineering and a travesty of justice, a teenager was caught riding a motorised Esky filled with weed, electric scales and a dirty ol’ bong around Melbourne. Like a horse bravely galloping into battle, the police allege the 17-year-old boy was ferrying drugs on this handsome beast. And it fucking owns. Like, are you seeing this?

A photo of a red Esky on a scooter with a 'Slippery when wet' warning sign on it and two shovels
The weed wagon. Photo: Victoria Police
Red esky on a scooter with two shovels and a motor
Toot toot, chugga chugga, big red car. Photo: Victoria Police

The traffic sign proudly mounted at the front like a personalised numberplate. The two shovels. The fact he would have sat on the edge of the Esky with his legs dangling over the front, like he’s driving a horse-drawn carriage in 18th century England. Chef’s kiss.

Per 9News, the police received myriad calls from distressed neighbours about the MA15+, bong-riddled Brum. But in what can only be described as a bizarre use of police resources, the cops went full “pick me” and sent a helicopter unit to help track this puppy and its teenage driver down.

Weed, a bong and scales on a white table
The choof chariot’s contents. Photo: Victoria Police

A helicopter? In this climate crisis? Surely you’re being a bit dramatic, lads? According to 9News, the boy was driving the weed Esky around Carrum Downs in Melbourne’s south-east. If he was confined to the one area, couldn’t the police simply cruise around until they found him? Better yet, why didn’t they just leave him be? Since when was being a marijuana-loving mechanical mastermind such a crime?

No charges have been laid but we hope the police appreciate the boy’s entrepreneurial grindset, at the very least. Elon Musk could simply never.

Source: 9News / Victoria Police