So you wanna throw a party do ya? Well look at you go, you social butterfly you. But you don’t just want to throw any old party, right? You want to host an absolute ripper. Go big or go home, is what I always say (I’ve never actually said that).
Look pal, we’re not here to argue over what I do or don’t always say — we’re here to have a good time! So to get you in the party spirit and ensure you’re not a stressed out mess for your next big shindig, we’ve written up a handy little guide for you to consult to ensure your next party is a solid one; the kind of party people will talk about for years to come.
And of course, it goes without saying, but don’t be throwing grand parties while Miss Rona is in town. Make sure your party is in line with any COVID restrictions that may or may not be in place in your area. Okay? Okay. Let’s go.
Consider the calendar
Step numero uno: pick a date, and make sure it’s a date people can actually make. You don’t need to get wild with the research here, just pick a date that doesn’t clash with anything major, i.e. probs best not to host your ferret’s first birthday party the same day as your sister’s wedding. People don’t take too kindly to that stuff, for some reason.
Get your deets right
This one seems obvious, and yet how many times have you had to text someone asking for the venue address, or whether you can bring a plus one, or whether the dress code is oodie-friendly?
So sort your life out, and send out a proper invite with all the goss attached. Don’t make people chase up info. Make coming to your party one of the easiest things the lucky invite recipient has ever done.
Check your wallet
You don’t need to splash a bunch of cash to throw a decent party. Only lame people think they need to go all P.Diddy and spend a month’s wages just to impress their nearest and dearest — and you’re not lame, are you? Of course you’re not.
So don’t feel like you need to take out a loan to get that giant fondue fountain if it’s out of your budget. But also, if you can afford it, and it will make you happy, then go nuts. The main thing is you have an honest look at your finances, and plan accordingly.
All you really need to throw a decent party is decent people and decent music, get those two things right and you’re set for a memorable time. And the best part about both is they’re practically free, everything else is a nice bonus. So go ahead and throw your Gatsby party if you want to and it’s within your means, but keep in mind that a UE Boom and some cheap drinks can be just as fun.
Cater for everyone
This is a big one. You want to have a fun array of choices available for people who don’t drink alcohol, or prefer certain foods to others, or have specific dietary requirements. Basically, you don’t want to just have tap water as an alternative drink if you plan on keeping your mates around for long.
The good news here is the non-alcoholic beer and wine game has changed dramatically over the last few years. With an increase in popularity, brewers and winemakers have begun to dedicate more time, energy, and resources into non-alcoholic drink production. As a result, we now live in a wonderful world where non- and low-alcoholic drinks now taste pretty much on par with their alcoholic brethren — sometimes even better.
Dan Murphy’s has a pretty decent range of low and non-alcoholic options if I do say so myself. If you’re feeling fancy you can pick up a bottle of McGuigan Zero Alcohol Rose (and I say fancy because in my mind anything pink equals sophisticated and distinguished). And on the beer front, you really can’t go wrong with Heineken 0.0, Carlton Zero, or a Peroni Libera, all of whom have perfected non-alcohol beer.
That’s not all folks, why not grab some non-alcoholic spirits or pre-mixes? You can check out the entire extensive range of Dan Murphy’s non- and low-alcohol options here.
On that note, keep non-dairy and gluten-free snacks on hand, have vego and vegan options available. If time permits, and you’re a particularly organised little rooster, you could even reach out to all the people invited and see if they have any specific food or drink requirements/preferences. Now wouldn’t that be a hoot?
Pick the right music
My idea of the perfect party playlist is the entire soundtrack of The Lion King, on repeat. And by Lion King I mean the original animated 1994 classic, not that modern live-action atrocity. But that’s not the point, see, it matters not what I think would make for a bangin’ party playlist, because I’m not going to be the only one at the party (hopefully).
Ideally, you want to play music that will appeal to all the people attending. But don’t send yourself into a stress spiral overthinking it. Spotify is a pretty decent DJ, so you can just defer to that. Alternatively, if you live in Melbourne or Sydney, chances are 57 of your closest friends are DJs, so this is the perfect time to let their talent shine.
Ultimately, you can do everything right and people may still bail. Don’t take it personally. The lives of most people around us are mysteries, you have no idea what many are going through, you could be throwing the best party on the planet, but some people just won’t be in much of a party mood that day. It can’t be helped and it can’t be predicted. Maybe their goldfish died, or maybe they twisted their ankle in a particularly heated game of bocce (hey, we’ve all been there).
The point is, if people bail on your party, it doesn’t matter. Because, if you followed this list, your party was sick, so it’s their loss! But also, ultimately nothing matters! Eventually the very sun that gives us life will grow so big that it will swallow the earth and everything on it; our grand life-giver becoming the grand life-taker. So what better reason to party while we can, amirite? Happy partying!
