Scott Morrison Is Saying Goodbye To Politics And Don’t Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out Mate

Scott Morrison is resigning from politics, so allow us to be the first to say: see ya, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

The former Prime Minister and member for Cook is planning to resign from politics when parliament returns in February. It’s not exactly a surprise, considering he led the Coalition to a spectacular loss at the 2022 election, but hey, he held on to his seat.

Shortly after news broke, Morrison shared a message on Instagram confirming that he’s off at the end of February to “take on new challenges in the global corporate sector and spend more time with my family”.

“I am extremely grateful to my family, friends, local community and local party members and supporters in Cook for their incredible support during this time, that has enabled me to serve my country at the highest level and make Australia a stronger, more secure and more prosperous country,” he said.

As well as shouting out some Liberal and National Party buddies — specifically, Josh Frydenberg and Michael McCormack and Barnaby Joyce — he also heaped praise on the Shire generally. “I now look forward to continue to enjoying local life here in the Shire and my church community at Horizon with my family and friends, and as always, #upupcronulla,” he said.

The former PM first entered politics in 2007, holding a number of key portfolios before Steven Bradbury-ing his way into the top job in 2018. If you’ll recall, Peter Dutton successfully challenged Malcolm Turnbull for the Liberal Party leadership, but humiliatingly had the party decide they didn’t want him to lead, either. (Dutton is, of course, now the Opposition Leader.)

Morrison resigned from the Liberal Party leadership after getting thumped in the 2022 election, making way for Dutton to sail on through and win the leadership unopposed. So uh, thanks for that.

“I also want to wish Peter Dutton and his team all the very best and congratulate him on the great job he has done leading our Party and the Coalition since the last election,” Morrison continued.

“By giving advance notice of my intention to leave parliament at the end of February, this will give my Party ample time to select a great new candidate who I know will do what’s best for our community and bring fresh energy and commitment to the job.”

Morrison’s time as Prime Minister can really be summed up in six words: “I don’t hold a hose, mate.” He was a leader who shirked a key part of leadership, which is owning responsibility for the bad stuff — like fucking off to Hawaii during the worst bushfires Australia has ever seen.

At least now, Morrison will have more time to spend with his family and friends. And by friends we mean Mike Pence. Who is weirdly writing the foreword to his new book, for some reason.

Anyway. Put out your Fillet-O-Fish at Engadine Maccas, or however you choose to mark this moment. The future is yours.