To paraphrase Smash Mouth, the snakes keep coming and they don’t stop coming. For today’s edition of Snek Yarn, we’ve got a Brisbane man who’s been awoken by a slithery denizen of the night in his very bed not once, but TWICE in the past week.
Max Mason was woken up two days ago by a carpet python trying to get cozy with his neck. As any rational, legged creature would do, he grabbed the scaly worm, whereupon it promptly bit him. Fortunately carpet pythons are non-venomous, a snake catcher was dispatched to the Ascot home, and all was returned to its rightful place. Or so we might think.
The Brisbane man who woke to find a snake slithering along his neck – not once but TWICE this week. Soon on ABC TV News at 7pm. pic.twitter.com/xAwgMGIDeH
— Josh Bavas (@JoshBavas) January 6, 2017
Totally oblivious to the plans that the pernicious python was hatching, Mason told the ABC:
“I think it’s a once-in-the-lifetime sort of thing, good heavens, you wouldn’t expect a snake to be slithering across your neck in the night as a regular occurrence.”
Sure enough, last night the squeeze-string was back in bed with him. “I felt the same feeling — a cold, slithering feeling sliding up my shoulder across my neck,” said Mason, apparently already in full ghost-story mode.
This time the naughty noodle didn’t get a snap in. Mason calmly put it in a box and called the relevant authorities.
The wildlife expert who visited the Masons’ house on both occasions confirmed that it was the same toothéd tail both times, which raises some interesting questions. Is Max Mason a nocturnal Parselmouth? Are we witnessing the start of a terrifying new age of war, pitting the limbless against the limbed in a devastating struggle for control over the world’s cars, beds and postal services? Or is it a tale of unrequited love – one plucky snack’s quest to be with the man who’s so wrong for her, and yet, so right?
The snake catcher has said he will try to release it a little further away from the Masons’ home this time – though distance is nothing to a serpent whose heart is true.
Source: ABC.
Image: Josh Bavas / Twitter.
