Aussies are a passionate bunch when it comes to one of our national treasures, that globby, noxious-looking substance of black sludge we lovingly spread on buttered toast, Vegemite.
Even if the rest of the world just doesn’t get it.
So when news broke on Sunday that the government was looking at banning it from dry communities on the basis that it *could* be used to make alcohol, cries of ‘THAT’S UN-AUSTRAYAN, MATE‘ were heard across the land.
Turns out that the whole ‘you can make alcohol from Vegemite’ yarn is a big ol’ pile of kanga-shit*.
[*Probably. Without testing, you can’t be 100% accurate. Gotta hedge your bets.]
Freelance science journo Signe Cane investigated whether or not it was *actually* possible to make alcohol from Vegemite.
Answer: “Highly unlikely.”
“The yeast in Vegemite is dead as doornails and broken down into what’s not even a vague semblance of the original fungus. If the yeast is dead, there is no way it can produce alcohol. Because it’s dead. Unless they added some live yeast back into Vegemite, and that yeast somehow magically survived the high-salt environment, the sandwich spread almost certainly can’t metabolise sugar.” [You can read her full scientific breakdown HERE].
In the name of S C I E N C E, we also spoke to Dr Claudia Vickers, senior research fellow at the University of Queensland, who backs up Crane’s methodology.
“It’s highly implausible that someone could make alcohol from Vegemite,” she said.
“The process to make Vegemite involves adding celery powder, salt, boiling it down. Yeast just wouldn’t survive that well.”
“In terms of making alcohol there’d be so many easier ways of doing it.”
i.e. ordering yeast online for as little as $10 or $20.
…you still wouldn’t be close to making alcohol.
Cane points out that Vegemite may work as a yeast nutrient, and help boost yeath growth, which Dr Vickers says is both possible and more plausible than actually sourcing the yeast inoculum from Vegemite – but again, would need to be tested.
This isn’t the first time Aussies and their Vegemite moonshine-making ways have been called into question.
In 2013, ABC published an article called ‘Vegemite, Ribena being used to brew alcohol in dry communities in Queensland’s Gulf region‘ that said – well, it’s literally in the headline. Vegemite getting turned into alcohol.
In 2009, the Courier Mail published an article that claimed: “hardcore drinkers are soaking alcohol-based baby wipes in fruit juice and using Vegemite and other fluids to brew grog in a dry community in far north Queensland.”
And way back in 2007 – we’re talking the early days of online news reporting here – The Age reported that prisons would no longer be serving Vegemite because of – you guessed it – fears prisoners could be using it to make alcohol.
NOPE, says both Indigenous Affairs Minister Nigel Scullian and PM Tony Abbott.
Senator Scullion told P.TV:
“The Government has no intention to place any restriction son Vegemite or any other yeast product that may be used in home brew in remote communities.”
“It is a priority of this Government to work with communities about harmful alcohol use in remote areas. It has been especially concerning to see first-hand and talk to communities about the impact of harmful alcohol use in areas where alcohol restrictions are in place.”
And Tony Abbott went a little more doollally, saying the last thing he wants is a “Vegemite watch“, which, weirdly enough, is now the only thing I want. Can someone Kickstarter this please?
IN CONCLUSION:
Short of controlled experiments, we can say with almost certainty that you very probably, almost definitely, in all likelihood CANNOT make alcohol from Vegemite.
Keep it for your toast, mmkay?
