It might be American-owned, but there’s still nothing more Australian than Vegemite. Whether you’re enjoying it, pretending to enjoy it to baffle a tourist, or using it to soothe your ulcers (not sure that actually works) – it’s patriotic as shit.
The delicious substance, originally intended as a more sustainable petroleum substitute for cars (I made that up), has become a staple of our diet despite being the flavour equivalent of being kicked in the balls with a pair of steel-toed boots.
Just in time for Christmas, it looks like Vegemite is doing their own version of that ‘Share a Coke with X‘ campaign, with named Vegemite jars – the perfect way to passively aggressively tell your deadshit housemate Kevin to stay the fuck out of your breakfast spreads.
Information so far is thin, but they did make sure to use the name of my ex as their example, thanks a lot you corporate PR bastards:
Personalised #VEGEMITE jars ready for #Christmas! #ComingSoon #StayTuned ???????????????? — pic.twitter.com/aqFD4VUDJJ
— Vegemite (@Vegemite) November 6, 2016
It remains to be seen whether this is “personalised” as in “Order a jar with your name on it!” or “personalised” as in “If your name didn’t appear in the King James version of the Bible or Peter Pan, you’re shit out of luck.“, but best of luck to all the Vegemite fans out there named Kourtney.
Photo: Twitter.
