It’s day one of Locky D here in Melbourne, and as the list of COVID exposure sites grows, so too do the very occasional quirks that come with such an ah… unique scenario.
Take, for example, the latest batch of exposure sites to be added to the apparently ever-growing list. Though ordinary at first glance, upon close inspection one sticks at as particularly unusual: The toilets beneath the Bourke St footbridge at Southern Cross Station.
Though a major public toilet might be a fairly obvious spot for a COVID alert to be made, what makes this one all the more curious is that the Department of Health has identified an entire 40-minute window of exposure, spanning from 7:35pm to 8:15pm on Sunday, May 23rd.
What is ah…. going on there.
Though the detail is light, the full venue alert merely states that “case attended venue,” and that it is classified as a Tier 2 exposure site, meaning anyone who visited during that time must get tested and isolate until a negative result is returned.
The implications here, however, are far more interesting.
Does this imply that a case spent the best part of half an hour honking out a mammoth bog in the famed train station loos? A 180 degree turn of the clock laying cable? Over thirty earth minutes dropping a full Bourke on Spencer St?
To play Devil’s Advocate, however, there may be a simpler explanation. Maybe the person-in-question simply got lost in the scroll with pant around ankle – and who among us has not done that?
Maybe our mystery pisser was doing a quick readjust of face and/or outfit before disappearing off into who-knows-where.
Maybe it was simply a quick piss, and the Department of Health is applying a large time buffer to the exposure window out of an abundance of caution which explains why it’s only a Tier 2 exposure site and not anything more significant.
Honestly though, it’s the big, long Bourke St poo for me. And if the truth is anything less than that I simply do not want to know.
As always, you can keep yourself across the full list of COVID exposure sites currently active in Melbourne via the Department of Health’s website.
