Melbourne Real Estate Absolutely Cooks It, CBD Wall Sells For $3 Million

You thought being able to afford a house in just any old place in Melbourne was a mere beautiful, dark, twisted fantasy? Wait till you cop a load of this.

Such is the FUCK THIS SHIT-ness of the current Real Estate market in and around the Victorian capital that a mere wall in Melbourne’s CBD – the bit of a building that faces outwards – just sold for a staggering $3.05million.
Repeat: The outside of a building’s wall – totally inaccessible to all non-Spider Men – was sold, at auction, for THREE POINT OH FIVE MILLION AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS.

The wall is the outside of 238 Flinders Street, near the corner of Flinders and Swanston Streets, opposite Flinders Street Station, which is Melbourne’s busiest pedestrian crossing – i.e. This wall:
The sale of the “property” includes the whole 117 square metre coverage of the wall, and the digital billboard which it currently holds – and therein lies the value of the property.
The billboard itself is worth in excess of $1million, and the current rental price for the wall stands at some $357,000 per annum. However, the current terms of the wall’s permits only extend for the next 25 years, after which the block next door would be permitted to build a high-rise building on that side, covering the wall up and effectively rendering it worthless. But the high return on investment still provided an enticing prospect for four buyers, who engaged in a bidding war before the sale was eventually made to a private investor.
Real estate agent Graeme Watson said that the auction had inspired his imagination.

“I see walls all around the city and I think ‘I wonder if I can go and knock on the door there and see if I can buy their wall’.”

If that doesn’t lead to him knocking on doors performing IRL versions of the “Is Mr/Mrs/Any Walls here? THEN WHAT’S HOLDING UP YR HOUSE, IDIOT” prank phone call, then honest to God what’s the fkn point of anything.

Photo: Ullstein Bild via Getty Images.

via ABC News.