An Astronomer Has Revealed What The Fuck The Flaming Ball Of Light That Hit Melb Last Night Was

Very few things will distract me from a late-night doom scroll, but a flaming ball of light rapidly hurtling towards Earth is right up there on the list. Incidentally, it’s exactly what shot me out of bed and to my window in the wee hours of this morning.

Given we’ve had a few minor earthquakes in Melbourne in recent months, I initially assumed we were just having another intense tremor. That, or my partner was letting one rip after a hearty Mexican food feast.

So, imagine my discombobulation when I learned it was neither of the above.

If you’re not from Victoria or are someone who is asleep at a reasonable hour, you may not have experienced what some residents described as a “loud boom” followed by light streaking through the sky just after midnight on August 8.

Footage of the flaming display quickly popped up all over social media, with 7News reporting that it wasn’t just Melburnians who witnessed it. Residents as far as Geelong, Bendigo and Mount Buller also sighted what people reckon was a meteor.

However, Swinburne University astronomer Alan Duffy told 3AW that “the quite extraordinary sight” was actually caused by a hunk’a junk. Space junk, that is.

“What we’re seeing is a large flash of light extended… It burns up for 30-40 seconds. It’s breaking up. All of that is telling me that is space junk,” he explained on Breakfast with Ross and Russel.

“That is not a small piece of natural occurring rock in space, a meteor.”

He added that whatever it was, it was “something very large” that weighed “probably a couple of tonnes”.

Despite it appearing close AF, Duffy said the junk — which put on “the biggest light show” he’s ever seen —would have been “tens of kilometres above the ground”. Peace of mind for those who suspect the world is constantly on the precipice of Armageddon.

Astrophysicist Dr Brad Tucker later told Sunrise that the big fuck off bang the space junk made was due to a change in travelling pace.

“[It’s] essentially having something going from 25,000km an hour to very slow, so that creates a sonic boom as it enters, which is what people heard and that rattling felt,” he said.

“Then you can see it fragmenting. So because it’s a human-made object, as it re-enters the earth’s atmosphere, it heats up and bits break off.”

Throw this next to that suss object found on a Western Australian beach and the US’ top-secret UFOs, and some might say we have a conspiracy on our hands.