We Cannot Stress This Enough: Do Not Fuck The Dick-Shaped Bath Bombs

The Valentine’s Day product flood is well under way now, and one of the most hyped products has come from the brand you run into any time you go through a breakup or require some extreme bath-related self care – Lush.

[jwplayer MrIYS6zy]

Yep, the brand you can smell from 100 metres away in any shopping centre released their V Day product line-up a little while ago and immediately went viral, because, well… they made eggplant bath bombs. And we all know eggplant emoji = DICC.

Credit: Supplied

While it’s all fun and games to have a solo (or couples) bath using the dick emoji as your bath bomb, naturally some people have to RUIN THE PARTY and get too fucking weird.

Yes, you’d think it wasn’t possible but in fact, human beings in 2019 need to be warned NOT to insert their eggplant bath bomb into any orifices down there.

Dr Vaness Mackay, a spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, told Metro UK this week that, in fact, the FIZZY SHIT IN A FUCKING BATH BOMB will fuck with your vagina, and not in a fun way.

‘We would strongly discourage the use of bath bombs internally as these could disturb the fragile balance of good bacteria inside the vagina. This natural flora helps to protect the vagina and disrupting it could lead to irritation, inflammation, and infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush.”’

Ditto for your anoos, guys. Do not shove the eggplant bath bomb in your butt or your vagina, or your mouth. Just don’t. That’s me saying that in this voice: