Oi, Australia: hands up if you left a dildo in the back of an Uber last year.

Now don’t all put your hands up at once, because apparently, only one of you did this. But it has to be one of you. One of you purchased a fun stick at your friendly neighbourhood sex shop (I assume) and then BAM, caught your 2am Uber home and forgot the damn thing in the back. I can only imagine the disappointment.

Uber has released data on all the shit we left in the back of cars in 2017, and yes, a dildo was one of them. People also left behind x-rays, an LCD television (?), an 18k gold pipe (???), a wig, a boom box and multiple gold wedding bands. The #1 most common thing left behind were, of course, mobile phones. Love to be contractually bound to an expensive piece of technology then leave it absolutely shitting everywhere. (I actually do. People who know me can attest to this.)

All up, there were some 64,484 lost item claims made in 2017, with Melbourne coming in as the number one city of forgetful idiots. Saturday was the most popular day for losing shit (no surprises there), with Sunday being the second most popular day (also no surprises).

But spare a thought for our mates in New Zealand. One bloke left literally his friend behind in an Uber and then claimed him as lost, and we have so. many. questions.

Still, at least it wasn’t a dildo. I’m intensely curious about that entire story, so if the dildo forgetter was you, hit us up: editor@pedestriangroup.com.au.

Someone knows something.

BTW, if you DO leave some precious, treasured item behind like the medical x-rays you need for your health, then you can report it in app – just go to ‘My Trips’, navigate to ‘Issue With Trip’, and you should be able to figure out the rest.

Image: Comedy Central