The old lost & found box is a mysterious place full of hidden treasures and usually at last three forgotten jumpers. Think back to the ones at school – lunchboxes, spare shorts, a couple of keys, maybe a sick velcro wallet. Turns out all the shit we leave in Uber cars is just as unhinged, delightful, and questionable. We will never learn.

In 2017, Aussies lost over 60,000 items in the backs of Uber cars which included at *least* one (1) dildo, and I’m very happy to confirm that in 2018, things absolutely did not change.

Uber has released our favourite bit of data about its last year of shit-being-left-on-back-seats and once again, Melbourne folk were the most forgetful – most specifically, Mornington Penninsula riders. Unsurprisingly, mobile phones topped the list of forgotten items, but there’s definitely some real pearlers in the list.

Apart from ~adult toys~ which makes the second appearance in as many years (please, don’t leave your bunny on the back seat) Aussies managed to also leave multiple wedding gowns (?) several eskys, possum fur (why), a pork roast (how), and a black rock (definitely cursed) among many, many other items.

In the way of other humans, someone claimed that they left their child in the back of an Uber which, Jesus Christmas, I hope that’s not real, and for the second year in a row, someone left behind their friend.

It’s not just physical things that we seem to be leaving behind in cars, either. Someone made a claim that they lost the love of their life (I’m so sorry).

Another said that they had misplaced their dignity which explains a lot considering the peak time for leaving things in the backs of Ubers in 2018 was 1am on a Saturday night. MMMMM.

Others said that they had lost their knickers (ew), a shopping trolley (how did that even fit), fake teeth, retainers, four wooden sticks (also cursed) and a single chilli.

For goodness sakes, please do a cursory glance on the back seat when you get out of the car, people.

But if you do manage to leave something precious in the back of the car, you can raise an alert with Uber through the ‘My Trips’ section of the app, and cross your fingers that your forgotten item doesn’t make the yearly list.

Image: Colombia Pictures