Kim Jong-Un Has Banned The Iconic Mullet Hairstyle, Which Is A Big Fuck You To Billy Ray Cyrus

mullet

North Korea has just banned its citizens from getting a mullet, which may actually be a blessing in disguise TBH.

Kim Jong-un has banned mullets, skinny jeans and nose piercings as he has become increasingly worried about the influence of the “capitalistic lifestyle of the decadent West”, according to The Express. So whose gonna tell old mate Jong-un that half these things aren’t even in fashion anymore anyway? (Aside from the resurgence of the trendy mullet, that is). Even the trendy mullet is on its way out (in my opinion), after being hijacked by squares like Ted Cruz.

In a nation-wide newspaper called the Rodong Sinmum (run by Jong-un’s political party) it warns that the country could “collapse like a damp wall regardless of its economic and defence power if we do not hold onto our own lifestyle.” Yes, because a mullet is totally going to dismantle an oppressive dictatorship (I wish).

Other hairstyles that are effectively banned in North Korea are spiky and dyed hair. And once again I must stress, does Kim Jong-un even know what decade it is? Frosted, spiky tips are very late 90s/early 00s.

Ripped and skinny jeans, t-shirts with slogans on them and lip piercings are among some of the other banned fashion items. So basically anyone who used to frequent Jay Jays back in the day is banned. That’s right, and stretchers are probably banned too.

There are only 15 hairstyles that citizens are allowed to have, and I pray to god ‘short back and sides’ isn’t one of them. No offence to the crew cut, but it sucks balls. I also hope that swept side bangs isn’t listed either, because that would uncover too much of my Tumblr-rawr-childhood-trauma.

K-Pop stans will also want to scream with rage because supergroups like BTS and Blackpink are pretty much banned in North Korea too.

Nooooo!

You can take our mullets AND our skinny jeans….BUT NOT BTS!!!!

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