Author China Miéville has said in interviews that he loves octopuses because they are highly intelligent but, compared to us, completely alien. They look and act nothing like us, but, by all appearances, can solve problems and use tools. Take for instance Otto, the octopus that figured out it could short out the power at an aquarium by shooting jets of water at the lights or use rocks to break the glass in its tank. Some species of octopus have been known to climb aboard fishing boats and steal from live bait tanks. These betentacled fucks are sinister as hell, and I love them.
Maybe this is why I’m feeling the loss of Rabiot the psychic octopus so deeply, after he was killed and sent to the fish markets despite his having correctly predicted the outcome of Japan‘s first three World Cup matches.
As the SBS is reporting, Rabiot was a giant Pacific octopus that had been placed in a tank with three baskets, each containing food and marked for either a win, a loss, or a draw. Rabiot managed to correctly predict Japan’s win against Colombia, their draw with Senegal, and their loss against Poland.
Despite Rabiot’s apparent psychic powers (read: luck in pulling off something with a 1 in 9 chance of happening), the fisherman who caught him, Kimio Abe, decided enough was enough and swiftly executed him, sending him to octopus hell (octopi cannot receive the salvation of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ and enter the kingdom of heaven).
Like some sort of subsurface albatross, the unfortunate death of Rabiot did not bode well for Japan, who were booted from the World Cup shortly after he was condemned forever to fiery torment.
RIP Rabiot, you may not have actually been psychic, but you still found a way into our hearts.
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