Double Down Shortage Angers Aussie KFC Customers

‘We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg…’

We’ve been waiting an eternity for a real life trumping of The Simpsons’ Good Morning Burger and Ribwich and now that wait is over. Behold, the KFC ‘Double Down Burger’.

The controversial menu item isn’t so much a burger as it is an expedited alternative for bad cholesterol and fat gain. Melted cheese is the adhesive around several sizzling rashes of bacon, sandwiched together with two fried chicken breasts…agghhhhhh..there’s our hangover meal for 2011.

Understandably, Australian health organizations have not been as hospitable. Yesterday our friends at Crickey collated the Australian media’s mostly-negative reaction to the Double Down with health pundits calling the bunless wonder “horrifying” and “gross overconsumption”.

But their woes don’t end there. Today KFC issued an apology to customers after upper management botched a VIP promotion offering a day-early preview of the burger. Said the promotion: “We’re launching this brazen burger on Wednesday, but as a KFC VIP you can get a taste of it tomorrow. Get to your nearest KFC store and ask for The Double. They’ll make it to order and boom! You’ve just encountered The Double’s mammoth flavour hit.” Unfortunately for KFC however, not all stores were able to redeem the offer and some customers were left angry and hungry, taking to KFC Australia’s Facebook page to voice their rage.

Wrote one customer: “Flat out false advertising, you really need to put more thought into your promotions from now on, I just ended up with a double crunch burger because your incompetent staff aren’t told anything by management… Pathetic. This promotional media has failed plenty of people today.”

Ever since that mildly racist cricket ad it’s been a litany of PR disasters for the Colonel. At least they got the pigeons out of the George Street store.