In artery-clenching news that’ll probably shorten your life just by reading this article, KFC has lifted the sizeable cloche on what’s easily one of the most intimidating meals in Australian fast food history: the Triple Stacker.

Proclaiming it their “biggest ever burger,” KFC officials revealed the absolute monstrosity earlier this morning, in a press release that caused most of our office to immediately break out in the sweats.

Consisting of three – count ’em, three – Zinger fillets, bacon, cheese, and various sauces, the Triple Stacker looks about as big as a six-foot-three bulky mechanic and probably smells like one too.

Mmy god

Much like your cardiovascular system, this burger is going to make you work overtime: It’s only available for a limited time, and you’ll only be able to place an order for it via the secret menu on the KFC app. Seriously, do not go up to a KFC counter and say the words “Triple Stacker.” You will get blank stares in return and it will be powerfully weird and you’ll probably shame order five buckets of popcorn chicken instead.

In case you missed it, the secret menu can be accessed via various trickery inside the KFC app; trickery that we figured out and explained in this handy guide here.

Can you handle the big chook burg? Does the thought of a tri-high delight from the Chook Depository sound like a right laugh to you? Are you ready to go toe-to-toe, mano-e-mano with the Colonel himself? You can wrap your laughing gear around it nationwide from today onwards.

Honestly, if this thing comes in a value meal, the chips and fries should be replaced with a roll of 4-ply bog roll and a can of Glen 20. Because while you might be a King for finishing it, it’ll surely gift you a fair amount of time on the throne afterwards.

Image: Supplied / The Wolf Of Eat Street