Did One Of Youse Misplace $1.6M In Cash Recently? ‘Cos The AFP Found It

I lose shit all the time; mostly unimportant things like spare keys or headphones or my marbles.

This? You’d think if you had this in your possession you’d keep a closer tab on it.

The Australian Federal Police has somehow managed to come across a suitcase containing a casual $1.6 million in cold hard cash, and they’re pretty keen to figure out who it belongs to.

The AFP has plastered images of the extremely wealthy bag over social media today in the hopes of tracking down whoever it is who is suddenly short an absolute fortune.

The extremely large amount of money has no owner at present and Feds are, understandably, quite keen to ascertain exactly who it belongs to.

There are… just so many questions to be asked here. How did whoever was carrying that suitcase avoid shitting themselves constantly? How did anyone manage to get that amount of hard cash together in Wetherill Park of all dang places? Why would someone with $1.6 million in hard currency cheap out on a shitty suitcase to carry it in?

If, by some divine miracle, you happen to know who this mountain of coin belongs to, the AFP would very much like you to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.

But don’t bother, because it’s mine. I totally forgot about it. The cops had absolutely no follow-up questions and is totally gonna give it back to me with no fuss. Everything’s chill.