The entire “Megxit” debacle is a screaming bloody mess from top to bottom, and the only real lesson to glean from it all is that maybe the entire English population needs to simply chill the fuck out for a hot minute or two. But whatever the end result of it all – whether a nice and lovely young family gets to live their lives in peace somewhere in Canada or whether their racist royal relatives force them to exist as a ghoulish dartboard for a ravenous British press who have grown tired of palatial normalcy and are desperate to drive yet another woman who didn’t ask for any of this shit into the damn ground even though Prince Andrew is right fucking there – it seems Prince Harry is going to be just fine.
Hell, he’s even got a job offer on the table: A part-time gig at Burger King.
Yes, with the man who currently sits 6th in line to the British throne has a public offer of a job flipping burgers, assembling Whoppers, and paying homage to, honestly, the only true King, according to social media posts.
Burger King’s official Twitter account extended the job offer to the probably-soon-to-be-ex Royal yesterday, bringing with it a world of possibilities.
@ harry, this royal family offers part-time positions
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) January 13, 2020
Imagine it. Harry picking up a few twonies per hour flipping cheeseburgs somewhere in Nova Scotia. The British tabloid press being kept out of the province thanks to a Minutemen-like border patrol comprised entirely of ex-NHL enforcers. The red-headed legend punching out on the clock, slipping a well-worn checked flanny back on, heading home to his modest three-bed home to kiss his kid goodnight before sinking onto the couch with an ice cold Molson’s, just in time to watch a Kids in the Hall repeat on CBC with his regularly working actor wife.
That’s a hell of a life. An honest life. A good life.
Love that for him, tbh.Image: Getty Images / Max Mumby