If your dream was to live in a golden age of powerful, lumpy dipshits, you could not have been born into a better time than the present. Between Donald Trump, Scott Morrison, and Boris Johnson, big-headed conservatives who couldn’t fuck their way out of a wet paper bag are having an unprecedented day in the sun. While living with the consequences of their beliefs absolutely sucks shit, we get to take comfort in one beautiful thing: All of these guys are goofy, blundering freaks who will embarrass themselves over and over in increasingly absurd ways every single day that they are in the spotlight.
Morrison gets stuck in a building because of smoke from bushfires he is doing fuck all about, Trump waxes at-length about how he believes regulations are causing people to need to flush toilets between 10 and 15 times, and, now, Johnson hides in a fridge to avoid answering questions from reporters.
Johnson started his final day of campaigning with a pre-dawn visit to — brace yourself for ridiculously how British this is — a business called Modern Milkman in Pudsey, Yorkshire. There, he found himself being addressed by a producer from Good Morning Britain, asking Johnson if he would go on the show. In response, Johnson did what anyone would do: he went and hid in a milk fridge.
Boris Johnson hides in fridge on live TV while dodging interview on eve of election pic.twitter.com/bpBidNMgnu
— The Independent (@Independent) December 11, 2019
Christ he’s a fuckhead.Image: Getty Images / Stefan Rousseau