It’s another day and another truly incredible thing has emerged from the depths of Bob Katter‘s cavernous brain. This time he’s popping off about his grand plan in the off chance Australia gets invaded by a neighbouring country. My good ridiculous bitch, what the fuck?

Clearly, the rogue MP been keeping an eye on the ongoing conflict between Ukraine and Russia. And as he’s sat there watching the unfolding horror in eastern Europe he’s started to ponder what Australia would do if we were presented with the same situation from, say, oh I dunno, China. Yeah, China — good one Bobby.

Bob’s proposal? Well, clearly we just gotta start giving guns to kids.

Yep, his harebrained idea to give rifles to high school kids is his answer to Australia’s (very not immediate and currently unnecessary) need to defend itself.

Not just that, but he reckons high schools should have armoury buildings where the country can store weapons. You know, in the absolute off chance this large, isolated island country gets invaded by Chinese forces.

Look, if it sounds like red-baiting and smells like red-baiting, then it’s probably red-baiting.

Bob — who once handcuffed himself to a shovel (?) — gave his spiel on Today on Friday morning. He said he got his inspiration from Ukraine and how Russia hasn’t been able to crush the neighbouring country like a paper cup.

“Why haven’t the Russians been able to conquer them? Because in all of those northern European countries, there is a proliferation of firearms,” he said.

Despite it being April Fool’s Day today, this is somehow not a massive prank on us all. The man truly believes that the country’s best option is to arm kids to the teeth with rifles.

I simply can’t see an issue in the plan whatsoever. Nothing in history shows there are any problems with allowing people to be packing heat full time. Give the kids guns, what could possibly go wrong?

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Can someone please do their routine check in on Bobby? It sure sounds like he’s ready for a bit of quiet time. Probably time for a lie down there, mate.

Image: Getty Images / Sam Mooy