Good Afternoon, Federal MP Bob Katter Has Chained Himself To A Shovel

It’s hard to imagine how Bob Katter has the time to get anything done, what with the rate of people getting torn apart by crocodiles in North Queensland nowadays. But full credit to him, this afternoon the clearly over-worked and sharp-as-a-tack independent MP has managed to scrounge up the time to [checks notes] chain himself to [checks notes again] a shovel in order to [and again] make a point about [one more time] honestly who fucken knows.

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Katter, wearing a singlet on his upper body in order to expose his weirdly ripped gross old man arms, has apparently seen fit to chain himself to a shovel – which, due to it not being attached to anything, is very moveable – at a train line just outside of Townsville in an apparent counter-protest to the anti-Adani protester who chained himself to a drill rig at the hugely controversial and deeply shithouse Carmichael mine site.


In the fever dream of a stunt, Katter (again, chained to a hand-held tool with enough slack that he could easily put it down at any given moment) stands aside two signs: One reading “Our coal, our rail, our jobs,” and the other “lights for China India” which seems to imply he doesn’t think either country has light at the moment.

Better still, there’s a video of our own walking talking version of the Rich Oil Texan from The Simpsons, where he states that there is a “vegan” who “chained himself to a drill rig” that is “taking all our jobs away.”

The chained shovel, he says, is “so that we create jobs.” Y’hear that, Newstart recipients? If you can’t find a job you should simply create one by gaffer taping your leg to a lawn edger. Huge, and we could not be more serious here, if true.

You gotta love the commitment there; promising to stay chained “long time but for a while anyway.” A noble warrior of the cause.